Yesterday was very hard. It carried a lot of emotions. Anger, confusion, and sadness. Long story short, and keep the anonymity of this person, a friend and I decided that our friendship needed to end. It all came down to there was something that neither of us would back down from. I guess you could say that we walked away in a neutral way. Not in a bad way or in a good way. I still love my memories with them. I with this person was honest with me earlier. So much could have been avoided. I could tell something was up because they pretty much avoided me. That hurt more than the truth. I had asked if I did anything about a month ago and they said things were fine. But they lied. That bothers me. But that is in the past, even if the hurt is in the present. I am mostly sad because my children lost friends due to no fault of their own. If this person ever reads this. I wish you and your the very best.
So I have a very blunt request. If I have upset anyone in anyway, PLEASE TELL ME! Do not let it fester. If I know you in real life and you have no interest in interacting with me and ALL of my family, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME so I do not wonder about who my ACTUAL friends are. Friends who accept that we are not perfect. That I have MANY issues I am working through. That our past does not dictate our future. The mistakes will be made and not realized without communication. I CANNOT FIX OR APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING IF I HAVE NO IDEA I DID ANYTHING. People I had considered family are not talking to us and not responding to messages or calls.
I want to take this time to give a shout out to the people who have never let me feel like I am nothing. I have many great, awesome, amazing friends and family. They just live in different states. I have a best friend in AZ. I know I can call and talk to her about anything. She is so amazing. I have a great friend in VA. She has gone through so much and is just rocking at life. I have amazing friends and family in WY, NM, and CO. My lovely sisters, brothers, and sister in law. I am so lucky. I have cousins who may be far away but I know care. They have beautiful families and I love them all. The friends and family I have that are local have born the brunt of my issues and they still claim me. They deserve a metal. I have friends in so many places I should never feel lonely. Just because they cannot be here, RIGHT NOW, doesn't mean they don't care.
Thank you to everyone who reads this and to my friends and family who support me. I am growing. It is messy, it is tiring, and it is worth it.
I am a friend to you and your family!I'm glad that you are open and honest!Always be who you are and say what you feel. Cause those that mind don't matter. And those that matter don't mind
ReplyDeleteI am a friend also, I agree you are honest and open. Sometimes you are a little to open, you tell people things that should be kept between you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteYou say that you are lucky to have friends who are able to forgive your mistakes, I get that. Forgiving and Forgetting are two different things. I remember being told by someone. you can forgive someone for their actions, it doesn't mean you have to like them or be around them.
So you asked these old friends a month ago, if you upset them. A month ago you were in a deep depression, did you think that maybe these friends were worried what telling you might do to your mental state? Just a thought.
Keep trying to get better, keep praying and asking for help. You will get better.