Netflix. The cure for Anxiety. And Chocolate Cake recipe

Good Monday!  It was a lovely weekend.  Addison had a great birthday party and everyone seemed to have a great time!  I am so glad that many of my friends and family were able to make it.  The house is mostly back to normal from it all.  Now I just have to catch up on the day to day care of the house and kids.

I have bad anxiety today.  It is triggered by silly things.  Mostly being online.  So besides binge watching Netflix, posting on this blog will be the most internet I do today.  I won't be checking my Facebook or even my email until this evening.  I am always calmer when Ozzie is home.

It is interesting how anxiety can really cripple you.  Not that my not wanting to go online is crippling, but in other cases it can.  My anxiety manifests as a racing heart beat, sudden heat in my face, hands and chest, and a tightness in my chest and throat.  Mentally, I try to shut down.  My mind is so occupied with thinking of what I did wrong and all the worst case scenarios that I start to panic more.  So I try to shut my mind off so I don't get a full on attack.  Netflix, books, silly games help me to turn my mind off and vanish into a different world.  Worlds where my emotions have no control over the story and I can just blindly follow where the story leads.

I like playing My Little Pony on my kindle.  I enjoy playing Kingdom Hearts and Minecraft.  I love manga and anime.  My favorites are Fruits Basket and Snow White with the Red Hair.  The books I read range from young adult to the classics.  I am currently reading the Undraland Series and rereading Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire series.  I will mix in some Jane Austin and Harry Potter.  I can't wait to start reading Harry Potter to the kids and Anne of Green Gables to Addison.  Reading worlds that are so far from my normal relaxes me and basically allows me to be relatively mindless.

I also bake to shut my mind off.  For Addison's party I made my death by chocolate cake.  It is a chocolate cake with peanut butter cream cheese frosting and chocolate peanut butter ganache.  It was a big hit.  

Here it is!

2 cups (250 grams) all-purpose flour  ( I used 3 cups to make a denser cake)
2 1/2 cups (500 grams) sugar   (I used 3 cups for a yummy cake)
3/4 cup (about 65 grams) unsweetened cocoa powder, preferably Dutch process (I used 1 cup cocoa)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (235 ml) neutral vegetable oil, such as canola, soybean or vegetable blend (I used softened butter.  Butter is the answer to EVERYTHING!)
1 cup (240 grams) sour cream
1 1/2 (355 ml) cups water  (As if I couldn't get the cake rich enough,  I use milk instead)
2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar ( I use Apple Cider vinegar.  I like the taste better)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs (You can add one more egg if you are feeling adventurous) 

1/2 cup coarsely chopped peanut brittle (I skipped this)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter the bottoms and sides of three 8-inch round cakepans. Line the bottom of each pan with a round of parchment or waxed paper and butter the paper.

2. Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt into a large bowl. Whisk to combine them well. Add the oil and sour cream and whisk to blend. Gradually beat in the water. Blend in the vinegar and vanilla. Whisk in the eggs and beat until well blended. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and be sure the batter is well mixed. Divide among the 3 prepared cake pans.

3. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out almost clean. Let cool in the pans for about 20 minutes. Invert onto wire racks, carefully peel off the paper liners, and let cool completely. ( These cakes are very, very soft. I found them a lot easier to work with after firming them up in the freezer for 30 minutes. They’ll defrost quickly once assembled. You’ll be glad you did this, trust me.) (These cakes are very likely to fall so no dancing in front of the stove)

4. To frost the cake, place one layer, flat side up, on a cake stand or large serving plate. Spread 2/3 cup cup of the Peanut Butter Frosting evenly over the top. Repeat with the next layer. Place the last layer on top and frost the top and sides of the cake with the remaining frosting. (Deb note 1: Making a crumb coat of frosting–a thin layer that binds the dark crumbs to the cake so they don’t show up in the final outer frosting layer–is a great idea for this cake, or any with a dark cake and lighter-colored frosting. Once you “mask” your cake, let it chill for 15 to 30 minutes until firm, then use the remainder of the frosting to create a smooth final coating. Deb note 2: Once the cake is fully frosted, it helps to chill it again and let it firm up. The cooler and more set the peanut butter frosting is, the better drip effect you’ll get from the Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze.)

5. To decorate with the Chocolate–Peanut Butter Glaze, put the cake plate on a large baking sheet to catch any drips. Simply pour the glaze over the top of the cake, and using an offset spatula, spread it evenly over the top just to the edges so that it runs down the sides of the cake in long drips. Refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 30 minutes to allow the glaze and frosting to set completely. Remove about 1 hour before serving. Decorate the top with chopped peanut brittle.

Peanut Butter Frosting
Makes about 5 cups

10 ounces (285 grams) cream cheese, at room temperature (I only had 8 oz and I wasn't going to the store again)
1 stick (115 grams, 4 ounces or 1/2 cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature
5 cups (600 grams) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2/3 cup (170 grams) smooth peanut butter, preferably a commercial brand (because oil doesn’t separate out)

1. In a large bowl with an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy. Gradually add the confectioners’ sugar 1 cup at a time, mixing thoroughly after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl often. Continue to beat on medium speed until light and fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes.

2. Add the peanut butter and beat until thoroughly blended.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze
Makes about 1 1/2 cups

8 ounces (225 grams) semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped (I used good quality milk chocolate chips.)
3 tablespoons (50 grams) smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons (40 grams) light corn syrup, honey or golden syrup
1/2 cup (120 ml) half-and-half (But heavy cream makes it so much more decadent.)

1. In the top of a double boiler or in a bowl set over simmering water, combine the chocolate, peanut butter, and corn syrup. Cook, whisking often, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.

2. Remove from the heat and whisk in the half-and-half, beating until smooth. Use while still warm.

ENJOY!

Oh and my friend is doing well and will be entering an out-patient program.  Now make and eat some cake.  Diets are for sissy's.