My parents got here Thursday and left this morning. I had a wonderful time spending time with my Mumyeta and Da. I enjoyed watching them spend time with my kids. We did a little sight seeing and shopping. I took my mom to my favorite bath and body store. But mostly we all just enjoyed each others company. My parents brought two of their three dogs. That made the house exciting. My two dogs had a lot of fun. I was able to watch fireworks with a friend and her family.
I am having a hard time writing anything today. I am kinda sad. Not only on the strings of my parents leaving back to Wyoming but from just the rush of returning to my normal day to day life. I still feel disassociated from my church. I know I shouldn't expect anything. But something, probably my depression, makes me feel like there should be some, any contact. "How are you?" "Missed you at church?" Like I said. It is silly and I shouldn't expect it but I do want to be cared about.
My mom has depression. I have seen her fight with it as long as I can remember. I love my mom. But her battle with depression is far from over. She has her own story that I am not at liberty to share. She is an example of what I do not want to become. She didn't have the resources that are available today. She wasn't able to attack it the way I am able attempt now. My mom is a good mom. No body is perfect.
I want to be happy. I want to feel like I do contribute to more than just my family. I want to be healthy. Why does being healthy have to be so hard? I love my church. I love the gospel. I love my kids. I am so completely in love and adore my husband. WHY????? can't I completely love and adore myself?
Lost and Found
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