Under the Knife

There probably won't be a post tomorrow.  I am having a routine surgery and will be drugged up most of the day.  Should go simple and easy.  Nothing like having surgery to ring in a say good bye to the month and start the next month with healthier eating...  Ah who am I kidding.  At the first chance to make a cheesecake, I am doing it.  Yum.

The world is trying to start being more open and accepting of people who suffer from mental illnesses.  You can see it in the TV shows, read it in books and news articles, and even hear it in music.  With all this acceptance it should be easy to go seek help, right?  Wrong.  Just because the world has put a shiny label on something does not mean it is easier to get help or even come out with what is wrong.  It is still a struggle to acknowledge, even to myself sometimes, that I am only getting better because I am taking a little pill and talking to someone who is little more than a stranger about what I think my issues are.

Depression is only one of the numerous crippling mental health issues that people of this day and age deal with.  Anxiety runs rampant through the youth as the prospects outside of school become grim.  Not just in the youth, but everywhere.  Men and woman are rushing in the human race and sometimes there is too much pressure.  In fact, Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the U.S.  Affecting 18% of the population.  Anorexia and Bulimia sweep through both women and men as the world prints digitally enhanced photos with the underlying context, "You Must Look Like This To be Considered Attractive."  Setting impossible standards that are unhealthy and unrealistic.  

These are but a few of the many mental health issues/illness that are in being made "mainstream".  Only about one third of those suffering actually receive treatment.  One half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with anxiety.  With anxiety alone there are many sub categories.  There are many treatment options available with each one.

I know some will say, "It is just the pharmaceutical companies making money of people.  Creating new 'illnesses' so they can sell more drugs."  I am not fond of pharmaceutical companies in general but I am grateful to be able to have something that helps me.  I will not get into the wrongs of those companies right now, if ever.  I am just glad that those I know who take something to help them get through the day without bringing harm to themselves or to those around them, have it available to them.

This post really has no rhyme or reason to it.  Some small peeks into the labyrinth that is my mind.  I haven't had enough tea lately to make sense of most of it.

Did I mention....... IT IS AUTUMN!!!!! My favorite season.  Not for the pumpkin spice junk.  But for sweaters, apple cider, pie, cake, or just plain apples!  The colors of the trees and the sharp, crisp breath of the breeze.  Corn mazes, pumpkin patches, spice cookies, Halloween!,  Mr. Boogity,  Hocus Pocus, The Tale of Icabod Crane, and so much more!  All these things give a perfect setting for bonfires, wood smoke, clear and starry nights.  The only thing that would make this season better is if it would just freeze at the time when the trees are in full color, the bugs are gone and I have an apple in my hand.  No need for winter.  I am good.

Month of Ill

As the title suggests, I have been ill for the past month if not longer.  Starting with a sinus cold for 2 weeks, then a sinus infection for 2 weeks, add a bit of pink eye, and top it off with what I am guessing is another sinus cold/infection.  Oh the joys of being me.

As for the future I am heading into a routine surgery this weekend.  The kids will be spending a great deal of time with the grandparents this weekend.  If I happen to call you and I sound like I am stoned off my butt, I apologize and please record it because I am sure it will be hilarious.  The kids are liking school and I am trying to get back into the groove of being home alone after about 2 weeks of kids/spouses home sick.  I am very lazy.  As for therapy, I had to cancel my last visit because I did not want to share the lovely thing known as pink eye with the clinic.

I have posted before about teen suicides and the statistics surrounding it.  I have even posted about the ways to help talk to someone who is considering suicide.  It is all gruesome and tedious business.  There is no happiness about it, save only if someone turns away from suicide and gets the help they deserve.  The stories of suicide does not end with the ending of a life.  The pain and sadness flows on in those who are left behind.  The mothers, fathers, siblings, and loved ones of the person who has been lost.  These people have to live with the memories of everything.  It is never certain if it would bring more pain to them if they were asked about their loss or if talking about it will bring comfort.  The grey area is different for every case.

A good friend of mine has started a new website and project because of the loss of a beautiful soul.  It is on Facebook as well.  We're Still Here Project is the brain child of my brilliant friend, Jessica.  An amazing woman who makes web pages bend to her will, also has one of the most tender and caring hearts I have been blessed to know.  It was actually because of her own battles that she chose to come public with that I decided to seek help for my depression and create this blog.  Back to the project.

It is still in its infancy and needs the stories and views of other people to succeed.  These stories could possibly help someone else that has suffered a loss.  I am a firm believer that it is through stories that a person is still here.  Through stories a person may become immortal.  This project hopes to grow into a resource to help those left behind with what they need up to helping with the costs to lay those who have gone too soon to rest.

Check out the web page.  You can search We're Still Here Project on Facebook or if you are my friend on FB I am sure you have seen me share some of the posts.

As Jessica has said on the website, death has no age limit.  If we can help someone who has felt the sting of loss feel even a smidge better it is well worth it.

WEEKEND!

I am still on the mend from my infections.  I can go most of the day without pain killers unless I stare at a screen too long.

We signed the papers for the repairs and upgrades on the house today.  Oh the joy of spending $45,000 that you didn't really want to but know you have to.  It should be all done and over with in about 3 months.  Alas, it is signed, filed, and now we just have to pick the color for the new siding.  I am glad the kids will be in school during the bulk of the mayhem that will be going on.

Now to turn our attention to getting the land ready for the coming winter.  Plow truck needs to be serviced if not changed over.  Our old Crusty is getting too crusty and we may be putting the plow on a different truck,

This week was interesting with the infection and with the kids.  I was really hoping that I would have time to be miserable by myself this week.  Well, my son had a stomach ache Tuesday and my daughter didn't want to be in school on Wednesday.  I got Thursday to be a sick, sad momma.  Moms truly never get breaks.

This weekend I hope to be able to get some alone time.  As well as some time with just the hubby and I.  Got an over night babysitter set for Saturday.  DATE NIGHT!  We may make some time to play cards against humanity with some friends.

Good health for the weekend.

Better Late

I am finally feeling slightly human enough to type.  Turns out I had/have a wicked sinus and middle ear infection.  Yay me!  Bring on the horse pill full of magical antibiotics and steroids!  That is what I get for ignoring it/thinking it was just a sinus cold for almost a week.  But at least I don't need the migraine medicine as much.  Meaning I only need it once a day instead of 4 times a day.  Let this be a lesson to people.  SINUS INFECTIONS SUCK!

My therapy appointment last week was interesting.  I won't be able to see her again because of scheduling issues for another 2 weeks.  I am really hoping to be able to learn new ways to process thing and to be able to let go of grudges.  If anyone knows me in reality they can tell that I am a gold medalist in grudge holding and working in evil and devious ways.

The kids seems to be enjoying school.  I am still getting used to being by myself during the day and being sick these last 2-2 1/2 weeks has not been fun.  Part of me says to find a part time job.  The other part of me knows how important it is to me and my family to have me here at home.  My mom was able to be at home during my youth and I enjoyed having her be there when I got home from school.  My father in law was home for my husband and his brother when they were in school too.  It may not work for everyone but it works for us.

The seasons are changing in NW WI.  Apple orchards are opening and the leaves are slowly starting to turn.  The air hasn't changed yet.  You can tell when Autumn is here when the air has that crisp end to every breath and the comforting fragrance of the harvest.  I hope to actually be able to go to a corn maze with the kids this year.  They are both big enough now that I think they will both enjoy it.  I look forward to trying to surprise my hubby with a picnic in the field.  Halloween decorations are in full force here.

We got approved to do improvements to the house.  New siding, new septic, new gutters, and best of all, a new and adjusted furnace set up.  That means no more having to build a fire EVERY 4 HOURS!  No more or not as much ash in the house during the winter.  Not having to worry so much about having to make sure we have enough dry wood to keep warm all winter!  I will still be making fires in the wood stove but we will have a new set up that will make it more efficient.  Nothing, I mean nothing feels better than a wood fire when it is -20 degrees outside.  Except maybe a warm cup of cider, fuzzy blanket, a good book, and good music in the background.  AH.  A perfect day.

In case you couldn't tell, Autumn is by far my favorite season.  If only it wasn't also football season as well.  Oh golly the Packer fans are gonna be coming out soon.  And the Badger fans.  Wisconsin, the place for sports and beer.... and cheese..... yummy cheese.

Migraine

Not gonna be much of a post today.  I have a splitting head ache and am trying to write this post with my voice to text software.  It still needs some adjustment.  Looking at any screen is painful and I am about to retreat into my dark room after I put the kids to bed,

Therapy Tuesday was, what I think, a really nice start.  My therapist and I seem to be a good match.  She said the way I talk is colorful and creative.  I will get into it more when I don't feel like my brain is trying to escape through my sinuses.

The kids really enjoyed their first full week of school.  Hubby is off for the holiday weekend.

I am sorry this isn't much of a post.  I will do better Monday.  Have a safe and happy Labor Day weekend.  I am going to bed down with some Excedrin.